


may stay on throws of 7 or less

by templeofshame



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Board Games, M/M, florida vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeofshame/pseuds/templeofshame
Summary: Kath's choice for board game night makes Dan choose a formula for "success."phandomficfests bingo: Florida vacation





	may stay on throws of 7 or less

“Careers? Wouldn’t know about that.” Dan’s peering at the old-school board game, color-blocked in a muted, retro kind of way. Or, actually old, probably. Kath must’ve found it at a flea market, or in the bowels of a house much older than this one.

“No, no!” Kath says, taken aback. “You have so many!” She’s unfolding the board, trying to get the warped cardboard to lie flat on the table. “I’ll bet soon they have versions with ‘Youtube’ instead of ‘Hollywood.’ The fame, the scandals, money based on the roll of the dice.”

“Guess we rolled well,” Phil says, grinning. He’s fishing the cards out of the box, sorting beige from burnt orange into messy little piles. Dan should be sorting the bills, he supposes, but he’s caught up watching Phil and his mum and the practised enthusiasm in how they set up a game. The game looks like the kind of relic that makes Dan want to joke about Phil’s age, but watching them makes Dan feel warm and fuzzy in a way that’s still nice even in the Florida heat. (Evening’s taken the edge off, but that just means Nigel’s turned down the aircon.)

“It’s true,” Kath says. “I shouldn’t want to play with you two, not for luck or skill.”

“Hey!” Nigel calls, mock-affronted, from the kitchen, where Dan’s heard enough sounds of snacks pouring into bowls to see where Phil gets it from.

“Am I that loud?” she says, no softer. “Anyway, it may be called Careers, but I think the best space is here.” She taps a nail on a corner square. “Florida Vacation.” Of course. It’s got palm trees and waves in its little line drawing, not a family hunched over a board game, but Lester Family Holiday has room for both.

“What do the hearts do?” Phil is peering at the Florida Vacation square. “Restore health?”

Dan lets out a single hearty laugh. “Because Careers is _clearly_ a game with HP.”

“Some coworkers are violent!” Phil protests, but Kath clears her throat in the fond way she does to rein them in from floating into their own reality.

“It all depends on the formula you choose before we start. Happiness is one of the three things you’re looking for,” Kath explains, pointing at the hearts. “Fame is the stars, and then money. But Florida Vacation is all about happiness.”

It’s a fact that Dan’s never seen Phil’s mum happier than this week. Maybe it’ll be different when he sees the early stages of Lester Family Christmas, but Florida Kath is currently the one to beat. It’s different, the way her eyes light up when everyone’s there and “there” is the Florida house. Away from fame, and money is spent, sure, but Kath discourages business talk. They’re supposed to be on holiday, and they are. All about happiness.

“Too bad the happiness is fleeting,” Dan says. Sometimes it feels like it’s his job to chip away at a little optimism. “Every turn you have to roll to see if you can stay.”

“I think that roll’s for the immigration lady, Danny boy,” Phil teases. “Eight plus, it’s back to jolly old England.”

“Or the Bahamas,” Dan corrects.

“Now boys,” Kath butts in, “you should be thinking about those formulas. As soon as Martyn and Cornelia get back, we’ll be starting straight away.” She’s brandishing a little plasticy notepad of each of them along with, bafflingly, a toothpick. “It just needs the pressure,” she says, as if she should scarcely need to explain how you write with a toothpick.

As Phil turns his attention to his pad, Dan reluctantly turns to his, letting Kath get the fake money sorted. Oh God, there’s a checkbox to indicate a law degree. That’s uncalled for.

Maybe his reaction is audible, or Phil just knows him that well, or maybe it’s a coincidence, but he looks up, first to Dan, then Kath, and asks, “Just the bit under the top flap? Adding up to sixty?”

“That’s the one! Your magic formula. Can’t change it once it’s set.” She sets off toward the kitchen, leaving them to it.

Without looking, Dan can tell Phil’s writing something, running on instinct and that Lester Family Vacation energy. Martyn and Cornelia could be back any minute from their “walk,” which could be actual exercise or an excuse to watch the sunset on the beach without Dan and Phil (and Kath and Nigel) on the towel next to them. Everyone will be ready while Dan overthinks it, but the thing is… he wants to win. Or at least come close. He doesn’t want to flounder around with a shitty formula while the Lesters know what they’re doing.

What they’re asking him to do, really, both Kath and the weird score pad, is to define success for himself, as a person. As a fictional board game person who can just write some numbers with his toothpick, because they’re just numbers. They’re not the fuel of an existential crisis right here at the Lesters’ game table, because however actual Dan Howell might define the win conditions of his career and his life, it won’t involve units of happiness or fame. Not even subscriber counts or followers… No. Dan’s just going to make up win conditions that are not even slightly existential and write them down, like Phil. Phil, who’s stopped writing and started slowly leaning into Dan’s space.

“It’s funny to think about,” Phil says, ear brushing Dan’s shoulder. “Like having more fame would mean you need less happiness? Maybe that’s how they thought it worked when uranium prospecting was a popular career path.”

Dan pushes his shoulder against Phil’s head, not sure if he’s pushing Phil away or meeting his touch. “Who am I to define success for some color dude?” he asks, looking hard at the game and trying to see it for what it is.

“Color dude god,” Phil says, serious. “He’ll do your bidding, and you’ll claim his success.” Phil pulls away now, turns and tries to catch Dan’s eye. “It’s a weird thing, to let everyone pick their own success formula, but keep it competitive.”

“But you just picked one.”

“I wanted to try zero fame. And lots of happiness. It just felt like a good…” Phil trails off. Maybe he’s starting to think, and it’s Dan’s fault.

“And lots of money,” Dan doesn’t ask. It’s a game with money, Phil’s gonna go after it. There’s something about the tiny ways that Phil is very Phil, the details Dan knows without overthinking, that makes him grin. “Always lots of money.” 

“Well,” Phil says, more proud to earn the grin than he is sheepish, “you can’t change everything at once.”

“Philip, did you just tell him? You’re not supposed to tell!” Kath scolds, emerging from the kitchen with Nigel and four bowls of snacks between them. “You have to change it!”

Dan thinks he can hear footsteps outside, and Cornelia’s laughter rising above the breeze. Phil’s parents busy themselves with finding space for the snacks, not watching as Phil looks under his flap, then back at Dan. He doesn’t change anything, just smiles.

Dan meets it with the warmth he’s feeling, then turns dramatically away as he takes up his toothpick. He can feel Phil’s pout even with his back turned. “Never said I’d share,” he says under his breath. “I’m gonna send your happy, rich, invisible self to the park bench.”

**Author's Note:**

> say hi on [tumblr](templeofshame.tumblr.com)?


End file.
